We have had some crazy weather for the middle of January in southern Pennsylvania . We have gone from snow, to rain, to sunny and 60 degrees in the last 2 weeks. On one of the warmer days I was helping my husband feed the calves and one decided to wonder off and my daughter spent the rest of the time playing with or trying to catch it. I'm always amazed at how my kids can be so easily amused by the simplest thing. I am no longer helping on the farm regularly and I miss it so much. I know you hear people say things like it runs in my blood when talking about a lifestyle, or some type of career or whatever it may be. I just didn't know that I would find that to be true of myself. I was raised on a dairy farm the oldest of 3 kids and daughter of a forth generation dairy farmer. As a kid all I did was tag along or play in the barn when it came to the farm I never actually did the work. My dad was diagnosed with cancer in his mid thirties and as it progressed the decision was made to move off the farm when I was in middle school and within 2 years he had passed away. Fast forward several years I am married to a dairy farmer who like my dad farms with his family. Not long after we started dating I told Blake I wanted to help with a milking one weekend. At just an inch over 5 feet reaching to hook up the milkers was not at all the most graceful thing to watch but I was hooked. I worked full time in a family practice which I loved so I would help Blake on weekends when needed. After we were married I would get up some mornings before work go milk for an hour or so to get my fix and then go to work. He still doesn't get why I like milking so much, he would much rather be in a tractor. A few years and 3 sweet kids later I am not in the barn much at all. I had no idea how hard it would be for me to be a stay at home mom without some other outlet (hence this blog). My mom was a stay at home mom and so was my mother in law and many other women in my life. I'm so thankful for the chance to do the same but it has been more of a change than I thought it would be. I had went from working in the doctors office to working on the farm 3-4 days a week sometimes more depending on the time of year. Things have changed on the farm a lot the last few years and now with our oldest in half day kindergarten an infant and one in between I need to be home. I do miss the things like feeling part of a team or feeling like I have something more to give than changing diapers, cleaning up, and cooking yet I still wouldn't change it for anything. When I finally shared with some other women in a bible study that I was struggling with feeling like I didn't have a purpose or needed an outlet I found out I was not alone at all. I know moms and dads who chose to be home full time so there spouse can focus on there career and have all felt this way a time or two. When I first met my now sister in law she was in college studying to be a nurse she was so excited to graduate and start her nursing job. With a year left of college she became engaged to a dairy farmer (my husbands brother). She was so excited to marry the man she loved which she did a few weeks after her graduation. She was able to work full time as a nurse and then part time for a while. This was something she had worked so hard to become and was passionate about. As there family grew she too decided to put it aside for now so her husband can follow his dreams. I am thankful for her friendship and the opportunity we have to encourage each other. We both love this life and the chance to support our husbands and the chance to raise our kids on a farm which in today's world is in some ways a simple way of life. I had read an article by another farmers wife who was saying she also was struggling not being involved in the farm right now while there kids were young. She then went on to say that she realized that no, she may not be in the barn or the field but she was still helping. By her being willing to stay home and make taking care of there home and kids her job she was making it possible for her husband to follow his dreams. I found this to be a good reminder and encouragement to me. We are more than blessed and I hope I can be more like my kids and be easily amused by the day to day things life brings and focus on the gift of being there mom and the chance I have to watch them grow. I know there are moms and dads out there who wish they could be home and are not able to be so for this reason I know I am so blessed and shouldn't take it for granted.
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